Thirty

A man looks at thirty...

The poem

The mirror is a fascinating device.

Every day I look at it
analyzing every small hair
sprouting from my head
using my grassy hazel eyes
that squint ever so slightly
to the overhead light
that highlights me.

Today, at thirty, I saw a slightly different version of me.

Normally, I see a vibrant, youthful person
with springy legs
ready to tackle the day
with all of its challenges.
Those challenges still exist—
more of them, in fact—
but the soul inside
has matured.

It becomes more apparent as I look closer.

My squint grows stronger
and then it becomes crystal clear.
My forehead, once smooth with no craters or ridges
has begun to show wear
and the creases near my eyes
no longer disappear:
they remain partially locked in
even as I release a loud sigh.

Is it a bad thing though?

I'd argue both ways
as I dress for the day
but ultimately those little elements
that temporarily irked me
are symbols of a well lived life
filled with constant growth
in all domains
as I try to understand the world and myself.

So let me; let me enjoy thirty,

and maybe in this new decade
the mirror will surprise me
yet again -
perhaps,
both my current self and a younger self
will co-exist
and perhaps merge
to create a better self.

Reflection

Thirty is the age I turn today (if you are reading this on March 14). It’s an interesting turning point in my life. The last ten years of my life was spent sort of experimenting with my life, trying to figure out what I truly am, without the guidance of my parents, for the most part. During that, a lot of things happened. A few key highlights can be found in my previous post for the Muse…

A Brief Twenties Lookback, and a Glimpse of the Future

On initial inspection, you might think that I wasted my twenties - the period where I am the most youthful and, subjectively, the most beautiful. In actuality, it was quite productive, even if the results are not necessarily tangible. It was filled with personal growth, with me learning more about myself and what my role is in the world. That journey is not done yet, and it probably never will be complete. Being naturally curious, I will always be learning something, and assimilating it into my corpus of knowledge.

This sort of wisdom is reflected in my current appearance. If you look at me closely, you can start to see my skin wrinkle and crease, especially if I do a rare grin or show strong emotion. Some might look to eradicate these wrinkles, fighting the aging process. I choose to embrace them - they act like battle scars, showing that I have experience living on this planet.

I still have some youthful energy left, even if it is buried underneath a more hardened shell. If I combine that with the knowledge that I’ve learned so far, I will make a difference.

So… here’s to thirty!

A picture of me smiling while holding one of my 30th birthday presents - a handknit sunflower.

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